A Maine court has just made one of the clearest rulings yet on religion and custody: a mother can be stopped from taking her 12-year-old daughter to a specific church when that church's teachings were found to be harming the child's relationship with her father.
The Maine Supreme Judicial Court upheld a 2024 custody order giving the father sole authority over the daughter's involvement with Calvary Chapel in Westbrook, while parents share decisions about any other religious organisation. The court's reasoning matters far beyond Maine — it's about parental alienation, not religion.
What the Court Actually Said
The mother's lawyers argued the order violated her First Amendment right to religious freedom — that the court was judging her faith, calling her church a "cult", and punishing her beliefs. The court rejected that framing:
"The court found that the child was harmed by exposure to messages that characterised her father as an 'enemy' who seeks to 'persecute' the child and her faith — and by the mother's unwillingness to reduce the risk of alienating her from her father. Far from declaring the Christian religion psychologically harmful, the finding reflected simply that it is harmful for a child to hear negative and frightening messages about one parent from the other parent's authority figures."
In other words: a fit parent's rights are broad — but the child's welfare comes first, and exposing a child to alienating messages about the other parent can outweigh religious freedom in a custody case.
What This Means for Co-Parents (UK and US)
In England and Wales the same principle applies under the Children Act 1989: the child's welfare is the paramount consideration, and courts can make orders about a child's religious upbringing where it serves the child's best interests. UK case law has long held that where parents disagree on religion, the court's job is to protect the child's welfare — not to arbitrate theology.
- Alienation is the trigger, not the belief. Courts step in when a child is being turned against a parent — through words, through a faith community, or through anything else.
- Documentation wins. If you suspect alienating messages are being passed to your child, a calm, dated, non-editable record of your exchanges with your co-parent is the single most useful thing you can show a mediator or court.
- Keep communication neutral. Every hostile or sarcastic message you send becomes evidence about your communication style too.
How to Protect Yourself
- Use a channel that can't be edited. SMS and WhatsApp allow deleted and rewritten messages. A co-parenting app with non-editable messaging preserves exactly what was said.
- Keep it child-focused. Courts look for parents who separate their own grievances from the child's needs.
- Record the pattern, not the argument. What matters over months is a consistent history — pickups, handovers, expenses, decisions — not one heated exchange.
- If a court already restricts you, follow it precisely. Orders like the one in Maine are specific; breaching them has serious consequences.
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Larkling gives you non-editable messaging, a shared calendar, and expense tracking — a reliable, timestamped history you can rely on if things ever reach a mediator or court. Free forever, no credit card.
Get Larkling FreeFrequently Asked Questions
Can a court stop a parent taking a child to church?
Yes, in specific circumstances. Both in the US and under UK law (Children Act 1989), a court can restrict a child's exposure to a particular religious setting if it finds that exposure is harming the child's welfare — for example where teachings are alienating the child from the other parent. In the Maine case the court gave the father sole authority over one church while leaving shared decision-making for all other religious organisations.
Is religion considered in UK custody decisions?
Yes — religious upbringing is one factor in a child's welfare, but it rarely decides a case on its own. UK courts focus on what serves the child's best interests overall. Where one parent's religious practice is being used to denigrate the other parent, courts treat that as an alienation concern, not a protected belief.
What counts as parental alienation?
Parental alienation is when a child is turned against one parent through the other parent's words or actions — badmouthing, restricting contact, or exposing the child to messages that the parent is dangerous, unloving, or "persecuting". In the Maine ruling, the court found the child had been harmed by messages describing her father as an enemy who persecutes her faith.
Can co-parenting app messages be used as evidence?
Yes. Non-editable, timestamped messages from a co-parenting app are regularly accepted in UK family proceedings, and courts in the US have relied on similar records. The value comes from the fact that neither parent can quietly edit what was said. See our guide on co-parenting records in court.
Should I stop my co-parent from taking our child to their church?
Not without a court order or a genuine welfare concern. Courts are reluctant to restrict a parent's involvement in a child's religious life absent evidence of harm. If you have a real concern, document specific incidents and seek legal advice — a solicitor will tell you whether it rises to the level a court would act on.